The Opening of the 60th Berlin film festival, 2010
It's the snowiest Berlinale in living memory. At least in my living memory, which lasts about six months, then it lies down weeping in the cold. Jesus, it's snowy. I stumbled around, blinded alternately by big white lights and snow, was molested by a Filipino doorman in the Hyatt, scrambled past some photographers on the red carpet - briefly coming within clutching distance of Joschka Fischer, of all people (he was with a fit bird) and saw one of the SS officers from Inglourious Basterds (the one who notices the wrong three fingers) - tried to work out which of the other Germans milling around might be famous (it's so hard isn't it? They all look equally beautiful/neurotic) - and singularly failed to blag my way into the opening film, which was the Chinese movie
TUAN YUAN - "Apart Together." (Isn't it poetic that the words for 'Apart' and 'Together' apparently rhyme in Mandarin? Or maybe that's one of those false film titles like they do in Germany, when they think translating the actual film title would be too dificult, as in The Holy Grail being Ritter des Kokusnuss or Airplane! being
Die Unglaubliche Reise in einem verrückten Flugzeug, which really is explaining too much or like Avatar, which in German is Avatar - Aufbruch nach Pandora, as in Avatar - Going To Pandora. Imagine if that were the English title. Hello, I'm an Avatar, and fuck me it looks like I'm going to Pandora. I don't think it would've broken any all-time records then. That would've wiped that smug look off James Cameron's shiny face. So maybe
TUAN YUAN just means 'Spaghetti Lego' or something.) But I did see the trailer for Tuan Yuan, because I was near the big screen outside. It had a car in it. And some people laughing. Looks brilliant.
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